Its not just flesh and blood,but HEART which makes ourself father and son.
When we were child and come from school in late afternoon having piercing sun above our head and then our mother offer us a cold breezed hug inside her aanchal, believe me or not even Air Conditioners can’t give anyone that level of relaxation and calmness.
But as we grow and get busy in our day to day life we forget to even call our parents once in a day(sometimes a week also), but they never complained us for anything because they are parents and their powers are to give only and never ask in return.
But this doesn’t means they don’t need us,they do. When He had a hectic day in his office,he want his daughter to hug him. When she cuts her finger in kitchen while making curry for us,she want her son to kiss on her forehead and say ” you’ll get well soon mum” and many other feelings like,
- “Don’t worry about me. Enjoy your life. If I need you, you would be the first person I’d call.”
- “Don’t worry about me. Live your own lives.”
- “Pay more attention to us!”
- “I need your help, but not for all things.”
- “Treat me as a friend.”
- “Visit often — I am lonely.”
Here I’ll let you know the hidden feelings if their heart,which they want you to know but will never ask you to…
Your company :–
After retirement the elderly people do not find purpose and meaning in their day, most of the time they do not have routine. So most of them stay usually alone at home. Often times we hear them complain that no one spends time with them, they miss company, they have nothing to do, no one to talk to, etc.Your father will love when you watch a cricket match with him.
Engagement and communication :–
Newspaper, gardening, pooja, walks, sleeping, watching T.V, usually these few things become your elderly parent’s only source of entertainment and the only engagements they are left with. Unoccupied days give them sleepless nights. They have limited mobility and interaction. But you can help/encourage them learn a new hobby or join some class or take them out for dinners or do simple chores, anything that can keep them look forward to. Your mother will love when drop her to her yoga classes.
When people get old, they get sensitive and even the slightest of things hurt them. Same goes for your elderly parent. They have lived a full life, worked, earned respect, and fulfilled their responsibilities. So when they are old your elderly parents want you to not forget this and treat them with dignity and respect. Your mother want you to hug her when she had a fight with your father.
Analyze what they need and how much :–
Sure your parents are old and want your help and care but they are not kids. “Mummy why do you want to cook?” “Daddy you don’t need to go to the market, the house help will do.” “Obviously your mother does not have to cook or they should not keep so many magazines in that corner but if they are not harming in any way let them do it. We need to learn to not be doing too much.
Another problem, as our parents grow old we children starts analyzing their every action for prospect diseases and illnesses. “He is taking time to recall the day, is he possibly getting dementia” or “my mother’s BP was 10 notches above the normal, should we go to a doctor?” Though they need your care and attention but you should not make them uncomfortable or conscious of their every step.
These were just some common things that the elderly parents miss and want from you or want their children to know. But again every person and their wants are different, put in some efforts and do the things according to your parent’s desire.
“Don’t use the sharpness of your tongue on the mother who taught you to speak”
- Call them, visit them, take their grandchildren to see them, laugh with them, hug them.
- Let them speak and tell you the same story again and again.
- Take them to their favorite restaurants and sweets.
- Treat them with patience, respect and show obedience to them.
- Touch their feet in the morning when you wake up,they are the closest and even the only god you see.
- Press your father’s legs at evening to cure his tiredness.
- Ask their opinion in every small thing if your life.
“Tommorow might be too late,to show your love to them.”